it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
