this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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