Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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