that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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