thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
