I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize