The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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