She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
