Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
