She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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