ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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