Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize