Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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