Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
