Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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