I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
