I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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