hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
