Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize