dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
