Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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