if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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