Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
