If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Drunk is a universal language darling
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
