I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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