so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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