You can't special order awesome
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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