Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Someone shit on the floor
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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