went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize