oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
