I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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