No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
