He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
