Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.