TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?