the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
