I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought