Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
