The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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