yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
