Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
