Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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