I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Shame is for Republicans.
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