Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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