You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Terrible idea I love it
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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