Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Randomize
