Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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