if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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