We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
