oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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