Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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