It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
