he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
