FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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