you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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