your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
