the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
jump out the window naked night went bad
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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