Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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