Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize