Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
