That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
