When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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