Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
