Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
