summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
