What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She even gives head with a lisp.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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