We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Found your dick twin last night
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
