Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
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we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
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at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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