But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
